Saturday, August 9, 2008

Difficult times

This past week has been very difficult and I aoplogize to those of you whom I have been tardy in responding to messages. When you find out what has been happening, it will all make sense. To make a long story short, I have left Arturo and moved into a new place on my own, all in the last few days. I will not get into the gory details here but will tell you that everything was not as it seemed with him. Several major issues arose regarding honesty, respect and communication. And the person that greeted me here was completely different than the one I knew and loved. I am in complete shock and my heart is broken.........since I have arrived, it has been one revelation after another and has been incredibly difficult and heartbreaking.

Fortunately, my dear friend, who refers to herself as my "mexican mother", has been amazing throughout all of this and has let me cry on her shoulder, provide much needed advice and has helped me find a new place to live. She and her husband helped me move into a new place a few days ago. It is a fully furnished one bedroom apartment with a pullout couch in a wonderful neighborhood. It has an amazing view and I managed to get a great price on the rent. Here are a few photos....

I just want to thank those of you who have provided emotional support the last few days over the phone.......I know those phone bills are going to be pricey. I could not have made it through this last week without you. I am so very grateful for your friendship.

A few of you have asked me what I will do now. As many of you know, I came here to Mexico for many reasons. Obviously, one of the main reasons was Arturo. In addition, it has always been a dream of mine to become fluent in the language and live down here. In the past 10 years of vacationing in Manzanillo, I have told people on several different occasions that it feels like home here. Having moved countless times throught my childhood, I have never said that about any place. Clearly, the easy thing for me to do would be to go back to Canada and trust me, I have thought about this many times. But I cannot forget the other reasons I came down here....and the other personal goals I want to achieve - balance, peace and harmony. And so, I have decided that I will stay in Mexico. Obviously, it scares the hell out of me to do it alone. I am trying to find the strength but it is really hard right now. Thankfully, I have a good support network here of local friends that have been wonderfully supportive.

I am also so incredibly grateful and relieved as one of my dear friends is coming here to visit this week.....this was a wonderful surprise and has kept me going.


CancunCanuck said...

Oh amiga, I am so sorry. Good for you for sticking it out and continuing on in your plan, he was only one part of it as you say. It will be a bigger challenge than you expected, but it might have a bigger payoff in the end in terms of what you gain. Getting out and getting a place is a big thing on your own in a foreign country, especially in an emotional time, kudos to you, be proud of yourself.

You have a BEAUTIFUL new place and bright things await you. I wish you all the best. Sounds like you have a great support system, but if you ever feel like emailing a Canadian stranger, my mail is cancuncanuck at gmail dot com.

Mexico "Way" said...

I'm sorry that things didn't work out with a-hole (see how I jump to conclusions lol) but you are better off without him. While it would have been easier with him, you probably wouldn't learn as much about Mexico and the way things work if he did everything.

I think it is extremely important to know how to handle most things on your own, and more important to know which friends to ask to help you out with things you don't know how to handle on your own. (Asking the wrong friend can sometimes be worse than handling things yourself so keep that in mind.)

Know one thing. That whatever happens, if you choose to move back to Canada, do NOT under any circumstances consider it a "failure".

So many people (including me) stay in Mexico even though they are unhappy and things are not going right. They stay because they don't want to "give up" or look like they "failed". That's not the case at all. It's about being happy and peaceful and comfortable and no one is a a failure for seeking that in their lives.

Hope you are doing well and remember you have blogger friends out there.

New Beginnings said...

Cancun Canuck and Mexico Way - thanks so much for the words of encouragement and support. In the last week, I have met a few other ex-pat women that are here on their own also and have been quite supportive. Like both of you, they are an inspiration to me and have given me some much needed strength! From the bottom my heart....thank you.

Laniecat said...

Missy!!! Be strong babe. I have sent you an email with detials on why I have not called. But here is what hubby has to say:
F(iretr)uck me. Tell her to move to Perth. At least we have good wine.

What ever you do and where ever you end up babe, we are here to support you.. even if we are upside down on the other side of the world.

Stay strong and dont let the turkeys get you down.

Missing you dealry and sending all our love.

ANd Kirov misses her Action Jackson.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry this has happened but totally amazed how resourceful you are. You are a remarkable person.

I think you are meant to be there with or without him.

Your new apt. looks totally cool. Thank goodness for your "mexican mama".

Corrinne, Seattle, Wa

Calypso said...

Ouch! Sorry to read about the relationship. I imagine that sooner is better than later when it comes to revelations.

I think you will find good alternative support systems in Mexico. The people are very friendly and kind typically.

Best of Luck.

John Calypso

Nancy said...

I second all your friends, above. You will do fine, and while you are probably still in shock, sooner rather than later is a good thing, in my opinion.

Fresh starts are amazing, look what you have going now. I look forward to hearing about your adventures.


Canexicana said...

Hi from another Canadian, up the coast from you! Hang in there, and don't look back. Everything happens for a reason and you will do just great! Study your Spanish and get to know the lay of the land. Listen to the same gut instincts you would have back home and trust the kind of people you normally would've if they were up north. Best of luck and wishing you the best in your new adventure! I'm 8 years and counting, here in Mexico.